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Reveal Your Secret Love

By • Feb 14th, 2008 • Category: Lead Article, Personal Development, Self-Esteem

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Every now and then, I attempt to stretch my comfort zone. I decided to write something about love. I thought I’d set aside the usual slant of my pieces and let the topic take me where it will. I eased in the zone and went with the flow and this is where the session took me.

Don’t ask me who sang it, but do you remember this song?

Once I had a secret love that lived within the heart of me.
All too soon my secret love became inpatient to be free
So I told a friendly star the way that dreamers often do.
Just how wonderful you are and why I’m so in love with you.
Now I shout it from the highest hills, even told the golden daffodils.
At last my heart’s an open door and my secret love’s no secret any more.

A secret love doesn’t necessarily involve another person. It does however, always involve a burning passion in the heart and the ache to burst forth and express itself freely.
While we may be fearful to reveal the identity of our secret love, some of us eventually tell at least one person about it. We consider the ramifications. We swallow hard and hold our breaths as we swing open the door and expose our secret love for the world to see.

Don’t you wish you could be counted among those who cast aside all negative reactions and proceed to walk hand in hand, proud of your secret love? Wouldn’t you be blushing too if you could muster the courage to declare your heart’s passion with boldness and pride?

When we discover the thing that excites our hearts, although we want to shout about it, we keep it under wraps. We continue with our normal routines but our lives are shrouded in secrecy and pretense. For some of us, the urge to share our secret becomes so strong that we can’t help but pull our best friend aside and carefully whisper all the details. Then we make our friend swear to secrecy. And if they are true friends, they keep our secret secure in their hearts in honor of our friendship.

Very often, we camouflage the deepening love within our hearts and the occasional glint reflected in our eyes. We mingle with others, share in their open affection for their love and tell them how lucky they are. We might even congratulate them on being brave enough to wear their hearts on their sleeves for the entire world to see. We envy their proactive approach to living each day in the sunshine of the love they have openly acknowledged. But we remain fearful.

We feel sure that no one will understand. In fact, we shudder to think of the subtle and not so subtle remarks others will make. We might know people who have been ridiculed and ostracized when they revealed the identity of their long-held secret. And emotionally exhausted from fighting and stripped of their dignity and self-confidence, they reluctantly sever ties and walk away from their cherished love.

You don’t have to go that route. In the name of love, passion and a life of joy and contentment, don’t keep your love imprisoned, locked away where it will surely languish and die a slow death. Step up, speak up and stand up for your secret love.

Moreover, it is not only your secret love that will suffer. You too, by forcing yourself to love in secret will gradually degenerate into a person who find great difficulty in being spontaneous and enthused about life. You will lose the will to live the life you once dreamed of, fully engaged with the love of your life. You will give only a portion of yourself towards the pursuit of what others say you should love. You will live way below your potential with a mindset and body language that reflect your broken heart.

For most of my life the thing that I loved was a secret and like the song says, it lived within my heart. Over time it grew too big for its claustrophobic and stifling prison cell. It clamored for freedom, shouted its need for expression and it’s yearning to grow and spread its wings. Inspired by others who had braved the consequences and freed their secret loves, I acknowledged my secret passion and opened my heart. It burst forth, free. It not only flew, it soared.

There can be any number of reasons why you can’t or won’t acknowledge your secret love. I can’t fault you for being cautious. Who wants to be considered a fool, careless, impractical, unreasonable or selfish?

What is your secret love? Are you convinced that it is not puppy love or infatuation? Is it the real thing, the real deal, your heart’s burning passion? Is it so strong that life without it would be listless and fulfilling? Have you lost your verve and zest for life because your love is hidden and you can’t enjoy it openly? Is your secret love impatient to be free?

Then it’s time to acknowledge your commitment to your secret love. It is time to turn the key and open the door. It is time to escort your secret love out into the world and declare it not to be a secret any more.

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